Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I was NOT prepared for this.....

This morning I woke up as usual, but something told me "check your pillow". No, not for tooth fairy money, although I would have made a KILLING if I got paid for each individual hair that was left ON my pillow. So, with a tear (or two), I scooped up the 50 or so hairs that had fallen out last night and threw them in the trash. I hung my head over the counter in our bathroom and ran my hands through my hair a few times and each time, just had gobs of hair coming out. Not like the previous days when I would run my hands through and one or two would fall out.....GOBS of gross hair just fell on the counter. I got into the shower, now mind you.....they told me "your hair will thin on Taxol, but not completely come out... and you have a little longer"....... I WAS NOT TOLD it would freaking come out in clumps on day 21! I was soooo not prepared for the clumps. I could feel it running down my back as I showered. I washed my hair and looked down at the shampoo-ey hairy hands of a gorilla. Of course, the tears started flowing again. I knew at this rate, I was not going to have much hair left by this weekend when all my friends would be available (maybe) for our "pink pajama shaving party".

So, my wonderful, beautiful, sister-in-law Kay had already signed up to come watch my kids for the day. She was my "chosen" photographer because she takes beautiful pictures, with my brother Shawn's camera, and really knows how to capture the moment. So, I called her and said "bring the camera" and then hung up and called Chris (sobbing) and said "can you take a long lunch break?...I have to shave it now because I lost so much, I can't even fix it and it will just fall out all day long and that's just plain GROSS and I don't know when Joyce is going to be available with all her back to school clients trying to get in last minute". I think he understood it all, but I'm really not sure because it was just like that......one big giant long run on sentence in between tears streaming down my face. But, he knew what he needed to do. I quickly pulled up a chunk of my hair still attached and clipped a pink butterfly clip around a batch of hot pink hair and snipped it. I wanted to remember the color I chose, since it was something I'd probably never rock out again.....who knows....

So, he arrived home about the same time as Kay got here, and we were all set up and ready to go out in the backyard. Here is our unexpected, sexy, beautiful, intimate, tear-jerking chapter of this book, as captured by Kay:
(crank up the volume and get your kleenex box ready.......)



























































Our beautiful Bald heads......Man, this guy REALLY loves me......
Off to work he went, and off to Chemo I went.
It was a beautiful day, filled with lots of tears, but at least it's done.

23 comments:

  1. Damn girl, you're still beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. My tears are for your strength, you are one of the strongest women I have ever met, you have a wonderful husband and beautiful family. I have to be honest, you are gorgeous with your hair shaved, no way in hell could I pull that off. Hang in there, you are STRONG and brave, god is with you and you will beat this. HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  3. I spent most of the day with you today, and many times I looked over at you and thought how gorgeous you looked. Your strength shines through. Kay did a fantastic job capturing the emotions and moments. And I really should have listened to your advice and grabbed the tissues!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tears! But you are one hot mama! Seriously, YOU. LOOK. HOT! & somehow, you're even beautiful when you cry! {hugs}

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good God Tiffany, there isn't a look that you can't rock!!! You are so beautiful!!!
    Hair is a small price to pay for a life/future with your friends, family, and that awesome MAN by your side!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are loved so much more than you would ever begin to grasp by so many! You are BEAUTIFUL! You will always be the BEST MOMMY, a WONDERFUL WIFE, an AMAZING WOMAN, a GREAT FRIEND, a FANTASTIC SISTER, a LOVING DAUGHTER, a CHERISHED GRANDAUGHTER and on and on in so many peoples lives. NOTHING CAN EVER TAKE THAT AWAY! BIG HUG your way today Tiffany! LOVE YOU! Sincerely, Kitty G.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are absolutely beautiful. =)

    ReplyDelete
  8. not only is God collecting/counting all those hairs. And He really does know each and every one of them... He is also doing the same for your tears. You are one of God's most beautiful creations.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you for sharing this, Tiffany! You look fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Beautiful, emotional, intimate time. I am thankful that you were able to share it with your soulmate and your family. God is keeping your hair and your tears. You are BEAUTIFUL & GRACEFUL. You are strong. I love you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are still beautiful! And, so blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends and family. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. :) You know that YOU can make everything and anything look fantastic! You are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tiffany, I love you!!

    --Priscilla

    ReplyDelete
  14. Please keep writing...it is very inspiring to read about your journey. Your humor is amazing and very humbling...I will be a happier person today and I will try to remember to A.R.K.
    You and hubby look great sans hair. Prayers are headed your way...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tiff, you are beautiful girl, inside and out. I have cried not because I'm sad for you but because you epitomize the strength that as women we all know exists somewhere within ourselves. BTW, is there a hairstyle that you CAN'T pull off?!? My head is too big to shave my head but I'm doing it in spirit! Love ya girl!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Chris is awesome - i don't know him - but he is one great guy! I like your shaved heads!! I cried & laughed - I didn't know he was going to shave his head too! That's beautiful!

    Love,

    Terri David

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Tiffany, I just had to comment on this beautiful, courageous post, my eyes and heart are overflowing for you, and your family. I am deeply touched at the graceful way you are handling this. What an amazing person you are, truly truly!!! And you are even more beautiful with out your hair, I am not just saying that and I see I am not the only one that thinks so, your eyes just sparkle and are so peaceful looking...you can see your determination. God bless you and your loved ones you are a strong strong person, and God is going to bless you for what you are doing. I just want to give you and your hubby a big big hug....there I just sent yall one...you are in my prayers friend! <3 Keep smiling!!!!!!
    -zebra lady's DIL

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tiffany, I don't know how to express my admiration for you. Your courage, grace, and strength are a beautiful inspiration. Love ya babe!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sorry it hit you unexpectedly! You're both seriously beautiful bald. Great skull shapes for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  20. OK, the music definitely makes the tears flow harder!!! Tiffany - I can't word it any better than Traelee above. Your courage, grace and strength are such an inspiration. Chris - what a man!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Tiffany,
    YOU LOOK GREAT! I am a cancer survivor. I had rectal cancer and went through radiation, 2 surgeries, and six months of chemo. I am now almost 3 years cancer free. I was about the only guy in the room during chemo. But there were alot of great looking bald women. Keep the faith and fight, you can do it!

    ReplyDelete
  22. You are so beautiful inside & out! Your sister-in=law captured such an amazing moment of your journey. You are truly an inspiration and Chris is such an awesome husband!

    ReplyDelete
  23. As I write through tears of love, admiration and respect for you and your precious husband, I remain in prayer for continued strength for you and your's on this journey and thank you deeply for sharing this personal, so very un-pleasant event with ALL THAT LOVE AND CHERISH YOU!! You both truly define "bald is beautiful" and by the way Tiffany - your eyes really POP and reek gorgeous (as ever). Keep Rockin' Girl! All My Love,
    Donna (Zebra Lady)

    ReplyDelete