Hi.... Remember me?

I know, slap my hand, I haven't blogged in FOREVER! I haven't had much to write about since cancer-wise I've been in limbo for so long. But, I finally have an update!

I met with my plastic surgeon, Dr Skoracki this week. The new one that I LOVE!!! He had told me to take a break till after Christmas and let my body re-coop from the gall bladder removal, and the 2 surgeries to fix what Dr Garvey did with my expander. So, we agreed to meet again after the holidays.

I am still having the TRAM flap surgery.  Short version: they take your stomach and transplant it to your breasts.
Long version: they cut me from hip to hip, from my C-section scar up to my belly button in an almond shape. They remove that piece of skin, fat and a little of the muscle, cut it in half and mold it and shape it to my breasts. But, before all that happens, my regular surgeon will remove my left breast (my choice) and then hand the OR over to the plastic surgeon. Plastic surgeon will re-open my incision on my right breast from the mastectomy and they are using most of my skin that they saved. They will use the fat and tissue from my stomach to fill in the part under my arm (my "arm-pit butt crack" as I call it) and my concave part on my chest. (Thank you Dr Garvey for leaving me with that!!! I will always remember you as the Dr who F---ed my body up) They re-attach the blood vessels, wait for it to turn pink and then I'm done......

For now....


This will be the first of a few surgeries. There will be one at a later date (probably 6 months to 1 year) to tweak anything that settled wrong, fill in any gaps, holes, etc... Since they are using my tissue, my body should adapt well, but it's always a possibility that one will be noticeably bigger than the other after the swelling goes down, or one might hang lower than the other. It's much different than just getting a regular breast enhancement without cancer. Those can be done easier, and more even looking because they have breasts to go by to begin with.  With me, they are basically taking a flat surface and creating 2 small mounds on it. Try to do it with play-dough and then you'll see how hard it is to get them exactly the same on the first try.

So, for surgery date: Waiting for a call. It will be after spring break though. (Late march, or April) They have to coordinate with my regular surgeon to both be operating on the same day, and then coordinate their schedules together, and then call me and give me a few options. He said I am looking at 2-3 months.  In the meantime, I have to get a procedure done called an Angiogram to check my blood flow through my arteries in my stomach area. Because I had an emergency C-section with Grayson, they want to be sure that nothing got snipped accidentally and that I have good blood flow through all the arteries they will be using.

He also said I had wonderfully placed fat! Yay! I guess if there is a way to get fat, you want to make sure that yours accumulates OVER your fascia and not under it. Mine is all on top of my fascia (the layer between the muscle and fat or skin) which means that he won't have to use as much muscle from my stomach during the transplant. I have enough fat for 2 breasts, (not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing... depends on how you look at it) but they will be smaller than my current size, which I've decided won't be that bad..... especially with a nice, padded Victoria's Secret bra.  :-)  Plus, I'll have a flat stomach FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, so I'm a tad bit excited about that. I'm a visual person, and since I've NEVER had a flat stomach, I cannot even visualize it.

Recovery time: 4-5 days in the hospital and 6-8 weeks at home. It's a tough surgery. It's a long surgery. So, I'll be asking for help again with my kids. Rides to dance, pre-school, etc... maybe a play date here and there at the park. I'm not sure exactly how long before I'll be able to drive a car or lift anything, so when the time gets closer, I'll start making those phone calls to arrange child arrangements, maybe a laundry fairy, or a vacuum fairy. Chris will be most likely taking off 2 weeks of vacation to be with me, but I'm honestly not sure if I'll be able to do all my normal mommy-duties by 2 weeks post-op. It wouldn't be that bad if Grayson was in school full time, but as it is, I have to get the kids to the bus stop every morning, get Grayson to school 2 days a week, fix him breakfast & lunch on his non-school days, pick the kids up from the bus stop, and get them started on chores and homework, and get Kaylee to dance 2 days a week. I'm pretty sure I have the transportation thing covered with my awesome friends, but you don't think about simple things like having to make a PBJ for your toddler or multiple sippy

Emotionally: I am so thankful that there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I've felt like I've been running a never ending marathon up until this point....no end in sight. I haven't been able to wear a V-neck shirt in almost a year. I haven't been able to wear anything with a tight sleeve in almost a year because my arm is swollen from the lymph node removal. (mild lymphedema). My chest is concave, so even some scoop neck shirts are out because you can see that I only have one boob. I've been so limited in my wardrobe to mostly high neck t-shirts, and sweat pants. Partly because I don't want to buy a whole bunch of clothes that may not fit me after surgery, partly because we are broke and partly because I'm still trying to lose my chemo weight so I'm in between sizes. My bra weighs over 5 lbs because of the prosthetic boob, and I have major muscle/scar tissue cramping going on. So, aside from all the complications I have had with the expander, just the whole "feeling deformed" and lop sided has been tough. I've been avoiding going many places, especially if it requires a dress code outside of a warm up suit or jeans and a tee. Half the clothes in my closet are not options for me because of one reason or another. I haven't been to church since around March or April, except for a Bible study during my radiation. I have basically only been to the gym, the kids schools and the grocery store. I didn't feel like it was quite as noticeable before, when I still had the expander in, but now that I am completely FLAT on one side, and concave to boot.... I feel very self-conscious about my appearance now. So, I'll be glad to have back a few wardrobe choices after this surgery! Maybe not the whole closet, but at least some of it. Ladies: think about how long it takes you to pick out something to wear...... then quadruple that time and you'll know how I feel. Yeah, this in-between stage has probably sucked more than anything else. I felt prettier even during chemo when I was bald. At least I had 2 boobs still and most of my clothes fit and weren't constricting. It's been really hard, even with things you don't think about.... like if someone pops by unexpectedly to your house.... they may catch you without a bra on, but it's not really all that noticeable. With me.... VERY noticeable. I HATE wearing my bra, but I feel like I have to keep it on all day just to feel somewhat normal in case someone drops by unexpectedly or with very short warning. Without my bra on, it is noticeable that I only have a boob on one side. VERY noticeable.... even in a baggy hoodie. It sucks. So, yeah.... I will be glad to feel more evened out!

So, I think that sums it all up.  I'll post again once I get my surgery date.

Any questions for me? Ask below and I'll do a Q&A post if needed.

It's late..... I'm not proof-reading... excuse any grammar errors that spell check didn't pick up.

Night Night
Love Y'all!

Tiffany

"Tonight" with SugarLand

So, remember how I won that contest "Win a Date with SugarLand"? Well, here is my update.....

We left Friday night and flew out to Atlanta. They paid for that. As we boarded the plane, we played switch-a-roo with another couple because Chris and I were sitting together, but with an aisle between us and another couple was split up, so we all traded seats so we could sit next to our spouse. There was a third guy in our row, and we started talking. He introduced himself as T-Bone from the show The Bone Collector. No Shit! We talked a lot the whole plane ride (about 2 hours) about everything. He had lost his mom to cancer last year, shortly after I was diagnosed. I told him about my concert win and how much SugarLand helped me through my journey. We talked about his new clothing line. The funniest line he said all night... "Every rednecks dream come true.....my clothes are available in over 30,000 Walmart stores". That was funny to me. His show is all about bow hunting and stuff that I know nothing about, but it was interesting. He said he could tell how excited I was and he didn't even know me. He is a super sweet guy. We talked about kids, he showed me pictures of him with different celebs, like Jeff Foxworthy, and he said he got to attend Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert's wedding. It was pretty fun. You can see his website here and check out his show on the Outdoor Channel if you have it. Their Texas special that they were shooting is airing this week, I think. Check out the website here to see a preview. I told him I had to get a picture with him before we left, and he said, he wanted one of us too. So, after we de-planed, we all took a pic together.

 The Houston Airport  and my seat neighbor, Travis T-Bone Turner

Then, we took a town car limo to the Four Seasons Hotel. We paid for the car, they paid for the hotel. It was a super nice hotel. We got in really late, so we didn't do anything. We walked around a little bit because my energy level was through the roof. I was so excited to see what was in store for us the next day. The hotel is in the middle of Georgia Tech's nightlife, so there were TONS of bars, but we didn't really feel like doing a bar/club scene. So, we went back to the hotel. I finally fell asleep about 2am or so. We had chocolate covered things waiting for us in our room.

Saturday morning, Chris woke me up about 11am to go eat. We ate some quick brunch and headed back to the hotel for a nap. While we were eating, I noticed a lot of pink stuff everywhere....turns out, the Susan G Komen 3-day walk for a Cure was in Atlanta that weekend. So, we got to see a lot of pink people walking around. I thought it was kinda cool that the breast cancer walk was there, right by our hotel, considering that the meaning behind my video that won was all about my breast cancer journey. So, we headed back to the hotel, took a nap, and I started to get ready for my night.

 

 

Lots of pictures of the beautiful hotel! 

We arrived at the arena at about 5pm and picked up our tickets, meet and greet and VIP stickers. We went in and met Whitney, our host for the night. She works closely with Sugarland and is a REALLY cool chic. We got to eat dinner with all the band and producers, videographer, etc.. the whole crew eats in the "catering room" and we were lucky enough to eat with them. Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush weren't there though. But, Kristian came in while we were eating with Whitney and he looked at me and stopped, smiled and came over to give me a hug. Whitney said "this is our tonight contest winners" and he said "I KNOW WHO THEY ARE, I RECOGNIZED THEM FROM THE VIDEO". Oh.My.Gosh!!! He recognized me??? It was so awesome. It was very obvious when he saw me that he recognized me and didn't need the introduction. He gave me a hug and then shook Chris' hand and said something to the effect of "I loved your video and what you two have together". That was probably the hi-light of my evening. Dinner was delicious! I ate Dr Pepper ribs, grits, fried okra, boiled shrimp, and bread pudding. Kristian said the caterers were giving them one last "excellent" meal before the tour was over so they would be invited back next year. It was really REALLY good! Whitney joined us at our table, and we chatted the time away. She said she read my blog! Hi Whitney! We talked about cancer, our relationship, how we met, our kids, and I told her about Kaylee's solo she is doing and she said I could email her a link to the video once she competes and we get it on video and she would pass it along. We talked about football a little bit. She's a Houston Texans fan, but we still like her anyways. :-) I really loved Whitney...she was an excellent host, and fun to talk to. We had a blast with her!

 Yes, I made the shirt. A custom creation, one-of-a-kind SugarLand rhinestone shirt.

 

 

Our meet and Greet passes and VIP all access sticker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This radio station was the one giving out the posters, and I had to take a picture with them since they were all wearing Pink Ribbon shirts.

After dinner, we went back out to the arena lobby and enjoyed a beer before the meet and greet. When we got into the meet and greet, they announced that SugarLand doesn't want to spend time autographing items, and instead they want to actually meet us, so they gave everyone an autographed photo when they left. We also weren't allowed to take our own pictures, and instead Whitney took the pictures and uploaded them to their site for downloading or printing. It was a good picture. I was a bit surprised by the news, but if you think about it, most people want pictures on 3 different cameras, and then sign like a dozen things, so it makes sense. We got to be at the end of the line, but the line was so long, we really didn't get any extra time with them. :-( Kristian was again, super sweet, gave me a hug but Jennifer acted like she had no clue who I was. I was a tiny bit disappointed that she didn't recognize me like Kristian did, but she is a busy lady, and probably meets a lot of people, so oh well.

Anyways, the concert was great, but my camera died shortly after it started, so sorry I don't have too many pics. (lots of them are cell phone pictures, so pardon the crappiness of them) The radio stations there had posters printed for the song "Little Miss" and asked us to all hold them up during the song. The one I chose was "I'll be alright again, I'm OK". It's lyrics from the song, and the Little Miss Project was started about a year ago. You can read about it and watch the video here. Basically, we are all a different type of "Little Miss" and the song touches on a few and you choose which one you are. So, we held those up during the song, which was pretty cool. I got to sit the row behind Jennifer Nettle's mom. Atlanta is Jennifer's hometown, so her mom came to watch her perform. After the concert, the lady I was sitting next to, who works with her mom, introduced us and told her I was the Tonight Contest winner. She is a super sweet lady and Jennifer looks a lot like her momma. My favorite songs from the concert were Little Miss, Incredible Machine, Baby Girl, Stay, All We Are and of course, Tonight.....

After the concert, I met up with a new SugarFriend named Mandy. She had emailed me when the contest started via the SugarLand site. You have to sign up as a member (free) in order to submit your video, so the email is safe, and it's all contained, and not through your regular email inbox. So, Mandy was telling me how much she loved my video and how much it touched her. She also has some medical issues, (not cancer) and her husband has stood by her and helped her through it all these years. We started emailing back and forth, and finally became Facebook friends. She told me that she would be at the concert that night, since she lives in Atlanta, and that she had some gifts for me and the kids. So, she gave me the gifts, and offered to take us back to the hotel (saved cab fare) so we accepted her sweet invitation. The gifts were SPOT ON! She gave each of my kids a stuffed animal, which it turned out...Brayden got a cow and Grayson got a puppy. Grayson is always acting like a puppy, and Brayden sleeps with a stuffed cow, so the boys LOVED their gifts. Kaylee got a journal/diary book and a cute pen, along with a stuffed animal, and that girl loves to write in journals, so it was prefect for her too. My gift was a zebra memory book/photo album and a beautiful painting that her and her daughter Katie had painted of me. I knew it was me right away and I knew exactly which picture it was. She said that picture was the one that she loved the most from my Facebook page, and I have to admit, it was one of my favorites too. So, Mandy and I have so much in common, we hit it off right away. We talked the whole way back to the hotel, but I totally forgot to get a picture with her. :-( I guess that means we will have to meet up again.

So, after finally falling asleep Saturday night we got up Sunday morning and went and had Einsteins Bagels and coffee for breakfast before heading to the airport. I was so ready to see my babies. I missed them so much while I was gone! We got home Sunday, and I hugged them all night long while we watched the Dallas Cowboys kick ass!

So, concert was great, dinner was great, Whitney was great, and we had a good time! Thank you Sugarland for having this contest, and for picking me as a finalists! Thank you to everyone who voted and helped make one of my dreams come true. It was an unforgettable evening!

Enjoy the pictures below.....

 

 

Pictures from the concert, and all the Pink walkers that walked by our hotel Saturday and Sunday. Also, the bikers that cheered them on at one of the pitstops. I love the pink bra's on their bikes.

 

 

 

 

The gifts from Mandy

I hope you enjoyed reading all about my Incredible Night with the most Incredible Band ever!!!!

Tiffany



Attitude is everything!

I received this cute story last year, and I thought I'd share it on here since it is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Enjoy.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.' So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. 'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'



Attitude is everything.

I totally enjoyed not having to fix my hair. I loved the quick showers. Now, I thoroughly enjoy that I have enough hair to have Bed-Head and I can feel the wind blow through it. That's such a great feeling!!!

Check yourself! Save those Ta-Ta's

Tiffany

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