Thursday, January 27, 2011

Getting prepared

So, I have had lots of ideas of what to pack in my surgery bag for the hospital. I've been given a deck of cards, chap stick, some chocolate, slippers, lotions, etc... Things I probably would have just gone without, but since I have them in my bag, I'll most likely use them.

My twin cousin, Teresa, is coming in Sunday. I call her my twin cousin because we are SOOOO much alike, we joke that we are twins. We have the same personality, we handle things the same way, we relate to each other, and we don't take shit from people. We are both nice, but Lord have mercy if you piss us off. But at the same time, we are also both very forgiving and don't hold grudges for long. Our only major difference is about 75 pounds and 10 inches difference. She is teeny tiny. I am not. Anyways, she wanted to come and pick up my role for 2 weeks so Chris could concentrate solely on me and my recovery. I am so happy she is coming. I miss her and wish I could see her more often. Can't wait to see her!!!  (She is Russell's mom, my adorable cousin that came in September)

So, since she will be here for 2 weeks, we will have lots of catching up to do, lots of stories to tell, and lots of girl time too, so don't expect too many blog posts till Valentines day or so. I just have to make sure she doesn't pack Grayson in her suitcase to go back home. Too many people want to steal him, not that I blame them, but he is not leaving his mommy's side.

My oldest daughter turns 8.... 2 days after surgery. Trying to get all her birthday stuff in order and make her birthday special, is taking up most of my time right now. 8 is a HUGE year!!! She is one year closer to teen-age years and boobs! YIKES!! For some reason, in girls, the maturity age gap is from 7 to 8. At 7, they are still immature, innocent little girls who like to play dress up and dolls. At 8, they suddenly become maternal, mature, and grown up. Ugh..... I have one weekend left to go get whatever else I need for her Big Day! I ordered cupcakes to be delivered to her dance class that day so her dance team could celebrate with her. Chris is off work that whole week to take care of me, so I'll probably send him up to the school to have lunch with her. I'll give Teresa the recipe for Kaylee's vegan cupcakes and have her make those that day. My only dilemma is that the Wii game we want to get her (Rock Band Country Pack 2) doesn't come out until February 1st, so I'll have to send Chris to fetch that too. I can't order it online because they can't guarantee it will be here by her birthday, 2 days after it's release. So, no big deal, but just something I have to make sure is written down for Chris. Lord knows I won't be thinking straight on all the pain killers, and he won't remember unless it's right in front of him.

My kids are all disbursed out for the day of surgery and the day after, until we get home. Not sure yet what I'm gonna do with the baby, but I will figure it out once Teresa gets here. I want her to be with me at the hospital, so that's one day I am trying to cover childcare. He may have to skip pre-school and stay with another relative. My mom also wants to be at my surgery, and bless her heart, she hasn't been at anything so far because she has been my babysitter, which is where she is called to help. But, her daughter is going to have a boob cut off, and it's only right that she be there for that. My kids are excited to have a 2 night sleep-over with their friends! I'm happy because it will help calm their fears and keep their mind off things.

Chris will be posting surgery updates on my Facebook page that day. I will tell him to post on the blog, but I can't promise you he will remember, or feel comfortable doing it. But, if he doesn't post on here for me, as soon as I'm able to think a little bit and not be all loopy, I will post an update. But, if you're on my FB page, check there for updates. I'm not sure what time my surgery is for. I have to call Monday at 3pm to get the surgery schedule for Tuesday.

Chris will have my phone with him during surgery, but he will also have his phone, so please don't overwhelm the poor man with texts, bless his heart. (He just came around into the techno world and got an iPhone recently, so he is still learning all this new "fan-dangled fancy schmancy shit") I don't think he has any idea how many texts I get on a normal day..... much less on a day where the Heavens are flooded with prayers for me and people thinking of me. He knows I have a lot of friends, but I don't think he knows quite how many.....   ;-)  So, please just check my Facebook page, email me, write on my wall, or leave a comment here if you want to send me a special message. I'll get it, but then he won't feel like he has to respond to every single message.

Lastly, I welcome visitors, but I will also have a lot of post-op appointments, so call first to see if I will be home. Like I said, my cousin will be here for 2 weeks, so I probably won't want a lot of company during that time because we don't get to see each other but about every other year, normally. So, I'll be up her ass and vice versa till she leaves on the 13th. But I imagine I will become a hermit crab for a few weeks after that and not go out much because I'll be trying to let my body heal as much as I can and I don't want to over-do anything, risk popping a stitch and getting an infection, or anything else. So, definitely come keep me company after that. I have a very comfy couch to sit on  :-)

OK, so I think that's about it. I really didn't have anything to blog about, so I was just thinking out loud.

I love you all, and thank you for keeping me and my family in your prayers. I really am quite sure that's why I've done so well thus far, and had such good progress. Thank you for supporting me, helping me, and loving me during this journey. YOU have made it easier!  YOU are the reason I look so good (as in not sick)! YOU are the reason I am always happy! I wish every patient had support like I do.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Surgery is right around the corner....

I'm starting to get a little nervous. My surgery date is February 1. I'm about 2 and a half weeks away from being boob-less. But, I'm not so nervous about the actual surgery. I'm nervous about my kids being dispersed to various places. Since it falls on a weekday, they are staying with friends from school so their schedule will not be interrupted. I think they are excited about it, but I'm a nervous Nelly. Kaylee is already planning what she is going to wear, what she is going to take, and things she is going to do. (She is an eensy-weensy tad bit like me....) Brayden could care less as long as he has his cow and blanket with him. Grayson has no idea that he will be staying somewhere else, but he does know Mommy's boob is getting cut off. Every time I get out of the shower (since I haven't showered in private in almost 8 years) he says "mommy, you still have boob?"  What can I say....he is a boob man. He makes his Daddy proud.

So, I'm also trying to figure out what I am going to pack. I'm only going to be there over night, and will be coming home the next day, so I don't have to pack a lot, but the only time I've ever had to pack a "hospital bag" was when I had my babies. This is COMPLETELY different. On my list so far is some button down (easy to dress) pajamas, panties, iPad, phone chargers, and toiletries. I know I'm forgetting some things, but I can't figure out what. Isn't it obvious what is important to me? My phone and iPad....go figure. So, if you think of anything else I might need, feel free to leave me a comment.

The other thing on my mind a lot is why it's called a Mastectomy. That is WAY too close to Vasectomy. So, I looked it up and "ectomy" means the surgical process of something being removed. So, if mastectomy means the removal of the breast, and oophorectomy means removal of the ovaries, and hysterectomy means removal of the womb.....why doesn't vasectomy mean they remove the penis? Men have it WAY too easy.

That's all I got for today.......

Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year, New ME..Or not...

So, it's the new year....I know we are supposed to make New Years Resolutions, and I thought long and hard, but there really isn't anything that I need to accomplish, at least not anything within my control. I'd love to lose the weight that I gained during chemo. 24 weeks on steroids wreaked havoc on my body. Add to boot that nothing tasted decent except for BBQ, Chinese food and pasta, and I have quite a few lbs to lose. But, I am not really focusing on that right now...I can't. I still can't wear tennis shoes because my big toenail still hurts, so exercise in flip flops is not really safe. Besides, I have other things to focus on right now besides losing a few lbs. I'll do what I can, but I'm not gonna bust my ass doing it because I'd rather focus on letting my body heal itself.

I've mended all my important relationships, which was one of my resolutions from last year.
I've dropped Diet coke from my daily routine. I haven't had one in almost 6 weeks. That was my other resolution. So, I did good and accomplished my goals for last year, but I got nothing for this year.

I'm not one to make a resolution that I can't keep, like not swearing, or thinking before I speak, or not eating chocolate. Those are just too difficult for me and they wouldn't last. So, I only want to make ones I know I can accomplish.

I found this article online for the top New Years Resolutions and thought they were amusing, but still, nothing grabbed me...

1. Drink Less Alcohol- I don't drink too much anyways, so my occasional drink isn't something I'm willing to give up.

2. Get a Better Education- uuummm, I have 3 small tots and have no time for that...especially when I'm coming up on radiation which is daily for 6 weeks!!!!

3. Get a Better Job- what better job is there than being a SAHM??? (that stands for Stay-At-Home-Mom.....not Stupid-ass-Ho-Motherfucker in case you were wondering)I Love my job!!

4. Get Fit- yeah ok... A little, but I'm not going overboard and setting unrealistic goals for my current situation...

5. Lose Weight-see above

6. Manage Debt- ummm, yeah... I have medical those count? If not, then my debt is already under control and has been for years.... We stay debt free except for car and house.

7. Manage Stress- yeah, I have a lot of stress at the moment, but we've eliminated as much stress as we possibly can. Some of it just come naturally with Cancer....and relatives.

8. Quit Smoking Now - I did that already. It was one of my resolutions for last year.

9. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle - when our neighborhood offers a recycle pickup, I'd love to recycle, but in my small po-dunk town, the recycle center is only open for like 4 hrs on Wednesday and I don't ever have time to drop it off, or remember to load it in my car.

10. Save Money- see above mentioned medical bills....I'll save next year when hopefully they are all paid off.

11. Take a Trip - already have this planned. For Chris' birthday, since his birthday is 3 days after Christmas (yeah, that sucks) I always spoil him as much as I can. So, since he has been so freaking AMAZING and AWESOME through this "adventure", I bought us a 2 night trip to Dallas at the Gaylord Hotel with all this Cowboys stuff. It's called the ultimate Dallas Cowboys Weekend for the 2011 season and we get to tour the stadium, go to the game with seats down low in the end zone, tailgate parties, and an autograph session with current and alumni players. Football season starts right around our 11th anniversary, and he gets to pick which game he wants to go to, so it's a Birthday and Anniversary gift combined. (I scored 'wife of the year' with that present)

12. Volunteer to Help Others - I already do this, except that right now, I'm kind of on the other side of that curtain... I know I'll resume once I'm done, but right now, it's all I can do to keep up with my own life....

So, as you can see, I don't really have any New Years Resolutions. I'll be cancer free by the end of the year, I'll have new healthy boobs, and I have a bunch of new friends that have come during this journey, so I am already a new ME, and I don't really have anything to change at the moment. I love life, I love my family, I love my friends, I love God and I love me. Life doesn't get much better than that!!!!