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So, tomorrow, August 8th, marks the 3 year anniversary of Grayson's cranio surgery. It also will be a surgery date for me too. Yep, again.

I went in for a followup with my plastic surgeon, and he checked out the hole that I got in my skin a few months back. I don't think I ever got a chance to write about it on here because our summer was so busy. Anyways, I had gone in a few months back for him to check it out. He basically said it was a chunk of skin that fell off because it was damaged skin from radiation. He gave me some silvadene cream to put on it twice a day and said it was very common.

Huh??

So, right under my arm pit (in the famous butt crack I've spoken about) I had a small chunk of skin fall off. Don't worry, I won't post pics because it looks really gross. It started off about the size of a pencil eraser. Well, 2 months later, after the cream, it is now the size of a large pea. It's white underneath, but, originally, he said that it was just new skin trying to grow. Well, now that it has gotten bigger, he says we have to close it up.....ASAP. It's basically an open wound in a spot that is very hard to cover. So, he is going to do an outpatient "debridement" surgery. Basically, cut out the hole and sew my skin back together.

So, I'm kinda pissed that at first he said it was nothing, and now it's "lets do surgery right away". But, I was going on vacation with the family, so he scheduled it for the day after we got back. I asked him how common it was because he told me in the beginning it was very common to have this happen.....he said "it's common" and then I asked how many of his patients have had this and his answer....."NONE".

WHAT???? Real common huh?

But wait....there's more.....

Then he goes on to tell me that if I opt to have the second breast removed, he won't have enough to do a large enough breast on both sides with the TRAM flap procedure and they will be somewhat triangular in shape. He said I'll get a better aesthetic result if I just get a lift on the left side and the TRAM flap on the right side. Then, he said that because of the gall bladder surgery, he has to delay my reconstruction surgery. (I went in for my followup with my gall bladder surgeon a few days later and he said that it shouldn't delay anything because it's almost completely healed and it's only been 2 weeks). So, originally, Dr Garvey told me to lose all my weight before reconstruction surgery or it could make my breasts uneven, because your breasts will do the same thing that your stomach did in weight loss. (IE: get bigger, or smaller, depending on if you gain or lose weight) I've only lost 10 lbs so far, and gone down 1 pant size. I'm thinking he is now changing plans because he is realizing that I was right when I told him that if I lose all my weight, he won't have enough to work with. But, he had assured me that he would, despite me telling him that, and he said "We will cross that bridge when we get there". GGGRRRR He really pissed me off that day! He basically led me on for 6 months telling me that he would be able to reconstruct both breasts using the TRAM flap, and now he is changing plans.

He says that he doesn't recommend removing the other breast because the odds that it would get breast cancer are slim. (Yeah, and so were the odds that I would originally get breast cancer because it wasn't genetic, and I didn't have any contributing factors. I also did everything that was supposed to reduce your odds.....have 3 kids, breast feed, eat healthy, etc) He also said that there was a chance of the healthy one getting infected if I remove it, and therefore, I would be left with no breast, so I need to decide which I would rather have. (I kind of feel like he is trying to cover his ass in case it does get infected so he can say 'I told you so') Then he said the only thing he can guarantee is that they won't match. He said no one matches before cancer, and no one matches afterwards. So, I am going to push for a removal of the other one with an implant on that side, and the TRAM flap on the other side. I'm not a plastic surgeon, but it makes sense to me that it would work....and if they aren't gonna match anyways.....then who cares? As long as they look decent in a bra and tee shirt, I am good with that. I just don't want to be running downtown in a panic every time I feel a lump on the other side. I have a long life ahead of me and I don't want to live it in fear. He said that with all my screening, even if it DID come on the other side, we could catch it early enough. (although, this stage 3 golf ball size lump showed up in less than 6 months from my prior OB exam, so if I am scheduled for 6 month scans and eventually 1 year scans, how can he guarantee that he can catch it any earlier? It obviously is very aggressive when it attacks)

So, I am going to spend the next few months going around and getting other opinions. I might possibly switch surgeons, and might possibly not be with MDA. I just want both breasts gone so I can live with less worry, and have a somewhat decent size and decent looking rack. I have broad shoulders and my ribcage sticks out pretty far, so I can't have anything smaller than a full C or small D cup or I'd look roley poley. Hence, why God made me with the size I have now.....

So, tomorrow, keep me in your prayers, since I am loosing faith in this plastic surgeon, that he can close up this hole without any complications. I go in at 11am and Chris will update my Facebook and Twitter when he hears something.

Thanks for all your prayers during this CRAZY adventure I've been on!!!