So, I am in my final few days till surgery! I am excited, but also nervous as H.E double hockey sticks!
I met with my surgeons this week and got the "all-clear" for surgery. It is a 10-12 hr surgery. I will be in the hospital for 5-7 days. This is a bit longer than I expected! So, I thought I'd be coming home on Good Friday, but it looks like I'll be staying through Easter, possibly. (Don't worry, the Easter Bunny already came and dropped off baskets for the kids. We are hiding them for him) Chris' mom said she may have the kids over to do an Easter Egg hunt on Sunday. Not sure if Chris will be coming to get me that day from the hospital or if it will be Monday.
Here is some basic info on my type of surgery.
Here is a few before and after pictures of a girl close to my size who had the TRAM flap done
Yes, I have taken some "before" pictures, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna post them yet. I guess it depends on the outcome of the "after" pictures. You'll have to wait and see.....
As for the details on surgery: I have to report for surgery at 5:15am on Monday morning. I will be in surgery until about 5-6 pm. I will have a catheter in until Wednesday morning because I will be pretty immobile till then. Tuesday, they will move me from the bed to the chair a few times. That's it. Wednesday, they take the cath out and I get to walk the halls. Get to, actually.....I will be forced to! He said they kick up my therapy on Wednesday to get the muscles moving, but they won't overdo it. I will have 6 drain tubes the whole time. 2 in each breast and 2 in my stomach. I will probably be coming home with at least 2, maybe 4 drain tubes a week later. I should be able to walk a little at a time, and go up and down my stairs at home once or twice a day. I will be sleeping upright for about a week, but should be able to side sleep after a while.
Pain- I qualified for a new study they are doing at MD Anderson. My plastic surgeon, Dr Skoracki, is writing a study and conducting research of a new kind of pain management and I was the first one chosen. Basically, in addition to the normal pain management (a small piece of mesh netting that numbs your abdomen, in the inside right by your fascia) I will have a pain pump with 2 small tubes inserted into my abdomen, one on each side. In this pain pump, will either be a saline solution (placebo) or bupivacaine. I will conduct a survey a few times during recovery, and again at 6 months and 12 months. Once all 40 patients have participated in the study, the results will be released as to whether or not I received a placebo or the real pain drug. I won't know until then what I got. Once there are 52 patients between MD Anderson and other hospitals, they will publish the findings of the study. So, let's hope and pray that I get the real drugs and not the placebo!!! It's a 50/50 shot.
Visitors- I will welcome HEALTHY visitors anytime, however, there are a few times I've blocked out for my kiddos, so please call ahead before coming. I will also welcome daytime visitors at home after Chris goes back to work on April 16th, if you bring coffee/lunch. hehehe I am gonna be bored outta my mind that month! Especially Tuesdays and Thursdays while Grayson is at school!
Updates- Chris will be posting on my FaceBook page all day Monday, and hopefully I can get him to tweet for me too, so it will show up on the sidebar on the left of the screen for those who aren't on my FB page.
Help- as mentioned before, we welcome hot meals anytime. We don't need them every day, but an occasional one any time during the month of April would be helpful! Cleaning fairies are always welcome! You'd be doing Chris a HUGE favor and he deserves it. ;-) The other way to help is to come rescue my kids from house boredom and take them on a play date or outing of some sort. Weekends for the older 2 kids, or M,W,F for Grayson. Plus, it would give me a chance to rest, and possibly Chris on the weekends since he will be working so hard at work, and also once he gets home.
So, as for me and my thoughts.... I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I've never been under anesthesia that long..... I've never been in the hospital that long...... I've never been immobile that long...... I just don't know what to expect...... I'm nervous as all get out...... I am also scared...... The normal usual scary surgery stuff...... I hate IV's and I will have to have one in the whole time. YUCK! .......Grayson has never gone that long without snuggling with me. I am his security blanket. Not that I wanted that role, but for some reason, he never got attached to a blanket or teddy bear as a baby. So, I'm worried about how he is gonna handle me being away, and also how he is gonna handle not climbing all over me once I'm at home..... I'm also nervous that he is gonna forget and hurt me accidentally. He's a little brute, and is sometimes quite rough.....
Please remember to lift me up in your prayers on Monday. Thanks!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Surgery is almost here!
I am in my 2 week countdown to surgery! I am nearing the end of my journey. I still will have some stuff ahead, but for the most part, this is the last step. It just most likely won't be my last surgery. Usually there is one or two "tweaking" surgeries later on down the line because it's hard to get them EXACT the first time.
So, April 2 is my surgery date. It's a Monday. I meet with my plastic surgeon, regular surgeon and the anesthesiologist next week to go over last minute details. We have all the arrangements for the kids worked out for the most part. Chris will be up there all day Monday until they kick him out. He is going to drive back and forth to visit me every day because of 2 reasons... #1... it's easier for him to do the kids school routines because he knows exactly what they need to do throughout the week. #2... he has stayed with me throughout almost EVERY surgery I have had to date, and as much as I love that man, I'll sleep much better if he isn't beside me snoring. :-) It's hard enough to get sleep in a hospital, to begin with...not adding snoring to boot. So, he will come visit me every day, but come home early evenings to put the kids to bed, make sure their homework is done, chores are somewhat done, and make sure they get a bath.....etc... I have arranged rides for Kaylee to and from dance, and Grayson to and from preschool. I have arranged for my mom to be here for Brayden to get off the bus, and I have prepared a few frozen meals that are easy to cook.
I'll probably be released Friday (Good Friday) or Saturday to come home. Easter will be pretty much non existent this year. I'm buying the kids their Easter stuff this week, so I'll be ready, but we usually go to church that Sunday and then have a nice Easter meal and Easter egg hunt. That will be all on Chris, so I'm not sure if those things will get done this year or if he prefers to just skip it.
Chris will be off with me the following week, but I'm sure he will be busy trying to keep the house clean, get the kids to all their functions, and cooking and doing laundry, not to mention taking care of me. I'm so thankful his job allows him to be at home with me for 2 weeks, and I'm glad he knows just how to pick up my slack without me having to tell him what to do. Let's face it, I'm gonna be all doped up on pain meds, so I can't be expected to remember our routine. It's gonna be tough, but he can do it. :-)
I'm really not sure what to expect with the surgery, post-op, etc... So, I am preparing for a 4-6 week "out of commission period". I'd rather be over prepared then scrambling at the last minute for dinner or transportation for the kids to something. So, I'm trying to stock our freezer as much as possible with easy frozen meals, and I am making sure we have all the basics, so that Chris will only have to shop for our produce and milk products.
So, for those who have asked what they can do to help..... here is a few things....
Prepared meals, frozen ahead of time or fresh dinners dropped off periodically
After Chris goes back to work, I'm still not going to be allowed to do much, so a few cleaning fairies would be helpful! Toilets, floors, counters and things like that. I'm gonna have a cleaning lady come every 2 weeks, but still stuff in between those dates would be helpful.
A few coffee dates or lunch dates after Chris goes back to work to keep me company since I'll be house bound for a while.
Since Grayson only goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday, a play date to the park for him, or something fun like that so he doesn't get bored being in the house all day.
Or, for people who can't do any of the above but still want to help....gift cards for gas, groceries (HEB), or local places where Chris could pick up something (Sonic, Subway, Chick-Fil-A, Icky McDonalds, etc). Since he will be driving back and forth for the week to the hospital, he will need gas a few times, and we are doing a 5-day parking pass that's like $50, which actually saves us about $10 for the week.
So, I think that's about it. I'll update more right before surgery when I have more details. So far, all I know is that I will be coming home with 8 drain tubes in various places, and won't be able to do much for 4-6 weeks except take it easy (almost like bedrest for a pregnancy).
12 days to new boobies and a flat stomach!!!!
Tiffany
So, April 2 is my surgery date. It's a Monday. I meet with my plastic surgeon, regular surgeon and the anesthesiologist next week to go over last minute details. We have all the arrangements for the kids worked out for the most part. Chris will be up there all day Monday until they kick him out. He is going to drive back and forth to visit me every day because of 2 reasons... #1... it's easier for him to do the kids school routines because he knows exactly what they need to do throughout the week. #2... he has stayed with me throughout almost EVERY surgery I have had to date, and as much as I love that man, I'll sleep much better if he isn't beside me snoring. :-) It's hard enough to get sleep in a hospital, to begin with...not adding snoring to boot. So, he will come visit me every day, but come home early evenings to put the kids to bed, make sure their homework is done, chores are somewhat done, and make sure they get a bath.....etc... I have arranged rides for Kaylee to and from dance, and Grayson to and from preschool. I have arranged for my mom to be here for Brayden to get off the bus, and I have prepared a few frozen meals that are easy to cook.
I'll probably be released Friday (Good Friday) or Saturday to come home. Easter will be pretty much non existent this year. I'm buying the kids their Easter stuff this week, so I'll be ready, but we usually go to church that Sunday and then have a nice Easter meal and Easter egg hunt. That will be all on Chris, so I'm not sure if those things will get done this year or if he prefers to just skip it.
Chris will be off with me the following week, but I'm sure he will be busy trying to keep the house clean, get the kids to all their functions, and cooking and doing laundry, not to mention taking care of me. I'm so thankful his job allows him to be at home with me for 2 weeks, and I'm glad he knows just how to pick up my slack without me having to tell him what to do. Let's face it, I'm gonna be all doped up on pain meds, so I can't be expected to remember our routine. It's gonna be tough, but he can do it. :-)
I'm really not sure what to expect with the surgery, post-op, etc... So, I am preparing for a 4-6 week "out of commission period". I'd rather be over prepared then scrambling at the last minute for dinner or transportation for the kids to something. So, I'm trying to stock our freezer as much as possible with easy frozen meals, and I am making sure we have all the basics, so that Chris will only have to shop for our produce and milk products.
So, for those who have asked what they can do to help..... here is a few things....
Prepared meals, frozen ahead of time or fresh dinners dropped off periodically
After Chris goes back to work, I'm still not going to be allowed to do much, so a few cleaning fairies would be helpful! Toilets, floors, counters and things like that. I'm gonna have a cleaning lady come every 2 weeks, but still stuff in between those dates would be helpful.
A few coffee dates or lunch dates after Chris goes back to work to keep me company since I'll be house bound for a while.
Since Grayson only goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday, a play date to the park for him, or something fun like that so he doesn't get bored being in the house all day.
Or, for people who can't do any of the above but still want to help....gift cards for gas, groceries (HEB), or local places where Chris could pick up something (Sonic, Subway, Chick-Fil-A, Icky McDonalds, etc). Since he will be driving back and forth for the week to the hospital, he will need gas a few times, and we are doing a 5-day parking pass that's like $50, which actually saves us about $10 for the week.
So, I think that's about it. I'll update more right before surgery when I have more details. So far, all I know is that I will be coming home with 8 drain tubes in various places, and won't be able to do much for 4-6 weeks except take it easy (almost like bedrest for a pregnancy).
12 days to new boobies and a flat stomach!!!!
Tiffany
Friday, January 13, 2012
Hi.... Remember me?
I know, slap my hand, I haven't blogged in FOREVER! I haven't had much to write about since cancer-wise I've been in limbo for so long. But, I finally have an update!
I met with my plastic surgeon, Dr Skoracki this week. The new one that I LOVE!!! He had told me to take a break till after Christmas and let my body re-coop from the gall bladder removal, and the 2 surgeries to fix what Dr Garvey did with my expander. So, we agreed to meet again after the holidays.
I am still having the TRAM flap surgery. Short version: they take your stomach and transplant it to your breasts.
Long version: they cut me from hip to hip, from my C-section scar up to my belly button in an almond shape. They remove that piece of skin, fat and a little of the muscle, cut it in half and mold it and shape it to my breasts. But, before all that happens, my regular surgeon will remove my left breast (my choice) and then hand the OR over to the plastic surgeon. Plastic surgeon will re-open my incision on my right breast from the mastectomy and they are using most of my skin that they saved. They will use the fat and tissue from my stomach to fill in the part under my arm (my "arm-pit butt crack" as I call it) and my concave part on my chest. (Thank you Dr Garvey for leaving me with that!!! I will always remember you as the Dr who F---ed my body up) They re-attach the blood vessels, wait for it to turn pink and then I'm done......
For now....
This will be the first of a few surgeries. There will be one at a later date (probably 6 months to 1 year) to tweak anything that settled wrong, fill in any gaps, holes, etc... Since they are using my tissue, my body should adapt well, but it's always a possibility that one will be noticeably bigger than the other after the swelling goes down, or one might hang lower than the other. It's much different than just getting a regular breast enhancement without cancer. Those can be done easier, and more even looking because they have breasts to go by to begin with. With me, they are basically taking a flat surface and creating 2 small mounds on it. Try to do it with play-dough and then you'll see how hard it is to get them exactly the same on the first try.
So, for surgery date: Waiting for a call. It will be after spring break though. (Late march, or April) They have to coordinate with my regular surgeon to both be operating on the same day, and then coordinate their schedules together, and then call me and give me a few options. He said I am looking at 2-3 months. In the meantime, I have to get a procedure done called an Angiogram to check my blood flow through my arteries in my stomach area. Because I had an emergency C-section with Grayson, they want to be sure that nothing got snipped accidentally and that I have good blood flow through all the arteries they will be using.
He also said I had wonderfully placed fat! Yay! I guess if there is a way to get fat, you want to make sure that yours accumulates OVER your fascia and not under it. Mine is all on top of my fascia (the layer between the muscle and fat or skin) which means that he won't have to use as much muscle from my stomach during the transplant. I have enough fat for 2 breasts, (not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing... depends on how you look at it) but they will be smaller than my current size, which I've decided won't be that bad..... especially with a nice, padded Victoria's Secret bra. :-) Plus, I'll have a flat stomach FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, so I'm a tad bit excited about that. I'm a visual person, and since I've NEVER had a flat stomach, I cannot even visualize it.
Recovery time: 4-5 days in the hospital and 6-8 weeks at home. It's a tough surgery. It's a long surgery. So, I'll be asking for help again with my kids. Rides to dance, pre-school, etc... maybe a play date here and there at the park. I'm not sure exactly how long before I'll be able to drive a car or lift anything, so when the time gets closer, I'll start making those phone calls to arrange child arrangements, maybe a laundry fairy, or a vacuum fairy. Chris will be most likely taking off 2 weeks of vacation to be with me, but I'm honestly not sure if I'll be able to do all my normal mommy-duties by 2 weeks post-op. It wouldn't be that bad if Grayson was in school full time, but as it is, I have to get the kids to the bus stop every morning, get Grayson to school 2 days a week, fix him breakfast & lunch on his non-school days, pick the kids up from the bus stop, and get them started on chores and homework, and get Kaylee to dance 2 days a week. I'm pretty sure I have the transportation thing covered with my awesome friends, but you don't think about simple things like having to make a PBJ for your toddler or multiple sippy
Emotionally: I am so thankful that there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I've felt like I've been running a never ending marathon up until this point....no end in sight. I haven't been able to wear a V-neck shirt in almost a year. I haven't been able to wear anything with a tight sleeve in almost a year because my arm is swollen from the lymph node removal. (mild lymphedema). My chest is concave, so even some scoop neck shirts are out because you can see that I only have one boob. I've been so limited in my wardrobe to mostly high neck t-shirts, and sweat pants. Partly because I don't want to buy a whole bunch of clothes that may not fit me after surgery, partly because we are broke and partly because I'm still trying to lose my chemo weight so I'm in between sizes. My bra weighs over 5 lbs because of the prosthetic boob, and I have major muscle/scar tissue cramping going on. So, aside from all the complications I have had with the expander, just the whole "feeling deformed" and lop sided has been tough. I've been avoiding going many places, especially if it requires a dress code outside of a warm up suit or jeans and a tee. Half the clothes in my closet are not options for me because of one reason or another. I haven't been to church since around March or April, except for a Bible study during my radiation. I have basically only been to the gym, the kids schools and the grocery store. I didn't feel like it was quite as noticeable before, when I still had the expander in, but now that I am completely FLAT on one side, and concave to boot.... I feel very self-conscious about my appearance now. So, I'll be glad to have back a few wardrobe choices after this surgery! Maybe not the whole closet, but at least some of it. Ladies: think about how long it takes you to pick out something to wear...... then quadruple that time and you'll know how I feel. Yeah, this in-between stage has probably sucked more than anything else. I felt prettier even during chemo when I was bald. At least I had 2 boobs still and most of my clothes fit and weren't constricting. It's been really hard, even with things you don't think about.... like if someone pops by unexpectedly to your house.... they may catch you without a bra on, but it's not really all that noticeable. With me.... VERY noticeable. I HATE wearing my bra, but I feel like I have to keep it on all day just to feel somewhat normal in case someone drops by unexpectedly or with very short warning. Without my bra on, it is noticeable that I only have a boob on one side. VERY noticeable.... even in a baggy hoodie. It sucks. So, yeah.... I will be glad to feel more evened out!
So, I think that sums it all up. I'll post again once I get my surgery date.
Any questions for me? Ask below and I'll do a Q&A post if needed.
It's late..... I'm not proof-reading... excuse any grammar errors that spell check didn't pick up.
Night Night
Love Y'all!
Tiffany
I met with my plastic surgeon, Dr Skoracki this week. The new one that I LOVE!!! He had told me to take a break till after Christmas and let my body re-coop from the gall bladder removal, and the 2 surgeries to fix what Dr Garvey did with my expander. So, we agreed to meet again after the holidays.
I am still having the TRAM flap surgery. Short version: they take your stomach and transplant it to your breasts.
Long version: they cut me from hip to hip, from my C-section scar up to my belly button in an almond shape. They remove that piece of skin, fat and a little of the muscle, cut it in half and mold it and shape it to my breasts. But, before all that happens, my regular surgeon will remove my left breast (my choice) and then hand the OR over to the plastic surgeon. Plastic surgeon will re-open my incision on my right breast from the mastectomy and they are using most of my skin that they saved. They will use the fat and tissue from my stomach to fill in the part under my arm (my "arm-pit butt crack" as I call it) and my concave part on my chest. (Thank you Dr Garvey for leaving me with that!!! I will always remember you as the Dr who F---ed my body up) They re-attach the blood vessels, wait for it to turn pink and then I'm done......
For now....
This will be the first of a few surgeries. There will be one at a later date (probably 6 months to 1 year) to tweak anything that settled wrong, fill in any gaps, holes, etc... Since they are using my tissue, my body should adapt well, but it's always a possibility that one will be noticeably bigger than the other after the swelling goes down, or one might hang lower than the other. It's much different than just getting a regular breast enhancement without cancer. Those can be done easier, and more even looking because they have breasts to go by to begin with. With me, they are basically taking a flat surface and creating 2 small mounds on it. Try to do it with play-dough and then you'll see how hard it is to get them exactly the same on the first try.
So, for surgery date: Waiting for a call. It will be after spring break though. (Late march, or April) They have to coordinate with my regular surgeon to both be operating on the same day, and then coordinate their schedules together, and then call me and give me a few options. He said I am looking at 2-3 months. In the meantime, I have to get a procedure done called an Angiogram to check my blood flow through my arteries in my stomach area. Because I had an emergency C-section with Grayson, they want to be sure that nothing got snipped accidentally and that I have good blood flow through all the arteries they will be using.
He also said I had wonderfully placed fat! Yay! I guess if there is a way to get fat, you want to make sure that yours accumulates OVER your fascia and not under it. Mine is all on top of my fascia (the layer between the muscle and fat or skin) which means that he won't have to use as much muscle from my stomach during the transplant. I have enough fat for 2 breasts, (not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing... depends on how you look at it) but they will be smaller than my current size, which I've decided won't be that bad..... especially with a nice, padded Victoria's Secret bra. :-) Plus, I'll have a flat stomach FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, so I'm a tad bit excited about that. I'm a visual person, and since I've NEVER had a flat stomach, I cannot even visualize it.
Recovery time: 4-5 days in the hospital and 6-8 weeks at home. It's a tough surgery. It's a long surgery. So, I'll be asking for help again with my kids. Rides to dance, pre-school, etc... maybe a play date here and there at the park. I'm not sure exactly how long before I'll be able to drive a car or lift anything, so when the time gets closer, I'll start making those phone calls to arrange child arrangements, maybe a laundry fairy, or a vacuum fairy. Chris will be most likely taking off 2 weeks of vacation to be with me, but I'm honestly not sure if I'll be able to do all my normal mommy-duties by 2 weeks post-op. It wouldn't be that bad if Grayson was in school full time, but as it is, I have to get the kids to the bus stop every morning, get Grayson to school 2 days a week, fix him breakfast & lunch on his non-school days, pick the kids up from the bus stop, and get them started on chores and homework, and get Kaylee to dance 2 days a week. I'm pretty sure I have the transportation thing covered with my awesome friends, but you don't think about simple things like having to make a PBJ for your toddler or multiple sippy
Emotionally: I am so thankful that there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I've felt like I've been running a never ending marathon up until this point....no end in sight. I haven't been able to wear a V-neck shirt in almost a year. I haven't been able to wear anything with a tight sleeve in almost a year because my arm is swollen from the lymph node removal. (mild lymphedema). My chest is concave, so even some scoop neck shirts are out because you can see that I only have one boob. I've been so limited in my wardrobe to mostly high neck t-shirts, and sweat pants. Partly because I don't want to buy a whole bunch of clothes that may not fit me after surgery, partly because we are broke and partly because I'm still trying to lose my chemo weight so I'm in between sizes. My bra weighs over 5 lbs because of the prosthetic boob, and I have major muscle/scar tissue cramping going on. So, aside from all the complications I have had with the expander, just the whole "feeling deformed" and lop sided has been tough. I've been avoiding going many places, especially if it requires a dress code outside of a warm up suit or jeans and a tee. Half the clothes in my closet are not options for me because of one reason or another. I haven't been to church since around March or April, except for a Bible study during my radiation. I have basically only been to the gym, the kids schools and the grocery store. I didn't feel like it was quite as noticeable before, when I still had the expander in, but now that I am completely FLAT on one side, and concave to boot.... I feel very self-conscious about my appearance now. So, I'll be glad to have back a few wardrobe choices after this surgery! Maybe not the whole closet, but at least some of it. Ladies: think about how long it takes you to pick out something to wear...... then quadruple that time and you'll know how I feel. Yeah, this in-between stage has probably sucked more than anything else. I felt prettier even during chemo when I was bald. At least I had 2 boobs still and most of my clothes fit and weren't constricting. It's been really hard, even with things you don't think about.... like if someone pops by unexpectedly to your house.... they may catch you without a bra on, but it's not really all that noticeable. With me.... VERY noticeable. I HATE wearing my bra, but I feel like I have to keep it on all day just to feel somewhat normal in case someone drops by unexpectedly or with very short warning. Without my bra on, it is noticeable that I only have a boob on one side. VERY noticeable.... even in a baggy hoodie. It sucks. So, yeah.... I will be glad to feel more evened out!
So, I think that sums it all up. I'll post again once I get my surgery date.
Any questions for me? Ask below and I'll do a Q&A post if needed.
It's late..... I'm not proof-reading... excuse any grammar errors that spell check didn't pick up.
Night Night
Love Y'all!
Tiffany
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